I Am Not OkAy~

Since I come to PJ, my stress never reduce before..

It just keep on increasing..

Till now, I really can't stand with it anymore..

I feel wanna cry..

But I can't find a shoulder that I can lean..

Why I so stressful?

Let me tell you what post I am holding..

First, I am the Assistant Secretary of Travellr's Den..

Organiser for the Pulau Redang's Trip..

Second, I am the Assistant Treasurer of Public Speaking And Drama Club..

Need to recruit new member start from today..

Third, I am the chairperson of Musical Prom Night..

Every proposal need to finish within this semester..

Fourth, I am the Assistant Secretary for the Project Langkawi..

Is an big event for Community Service Society..

Every Sunday need to attend the meeting, some more will get scolded everytime meeting..(sure get scolded**)

I really can't sleep well every night..

Always think about the idea for the next meeting..

What should I do for the next meeting..

Which theme should I use for the Musical Prom Night..

I really miss my home...I miss my buddies in hometown..I miss my kampar friends

but because all of these meetings, I need to stay back every weekend..

The worst thing is when I emo..

You guys who know me well should know what I will do when I am emo..

When I emo, I not really will talk to people..

And this cause my housemates and friends not dare to talk to me..

They say I look "fierce" when I emo..

They got try to make me smile by jokes or whatever funny thing..

But I jus cant smile..

I am getting more emo nowadays..

I lost the ability of smile..

I am not like past..always the person who laugh the most..

I want be myself back..

But I just cant..

Who can help me find myself back??

I really need someone who can understand me..

Like my kampar friends and my hometown buddies..

They sure have the way to make me laugh..

share my tears and joy..

share my words of heart..

Sometimes, I feel wanna quit..

But I know I cant do such stupid thing..

I need to continue no matter how hard is it..

Although I am not really okay for now, I still will continue it..

It is for all of you who care for me out there..